Adventures in Parenting

Recently my husband decided he needed a new/new-to-him car. Not just any new car, he really wants a Land Rover. Oooh. Aahh. Yeah whatever.

So, I indulge this little fantasy and off we go to the dealership a few weekends ago. Child is up from his nap, snacks loaded in my bag, and we are off.

Originally we go there to look at one specific vehicle; it has been sold but not removed from the website. I tell him to look at a few others I knew he was interested in. I am feeding my child, singing to him, talking with him, all the while keeping him in his carseat thinking we would be leaving rather quickly. Next thing I know, husband is pulling off in a Range Rover for a test drive.

Hello? Fine. So out of the car we both go to enjoy the 78 ish degree day. My son recently learned to enjoy grass, he used to hate the very sight of it and would not step onto it even in shoes. Husband comes back and wants me to review said car he just drove. So while he and the sales guy continue to look at vehicles and I interject pointed questions, I also run around after my child to make sure he does not run down the hill and into traffic.

Sales guy goes inside to get information. By this time I am getting to be a grumpy, sweaty mess and the child isn't really happy either. I ask if we can go inside to get some air conditioning. I get cooler air but continue to run around after the child by myself as husband is in a euphoric coma-like state while surrounded by Land Rover vehicles.

Finally we all decide to go look at a few other vehicles. As my husband and the sales guy turn and head to the door what does my child say:

"Mama. Poo-poo diaper."

And proceeds to flop down onto the dealership floor and roll around while he tells me we need to "clack-clack" (slang in our house for diaper change) rather loudly. Husband and sales guy are more than halfway to the door, two older salesmen are nearby and staring at me and my child rolling around in their fancy dealership floor.

So what do I do...I double over in laughter. What else can I do? When teaching potty training, one must be open to embarassment of any kind.

Oh, and no, husband ultimately did not purchase the Land Rover, or Range Rover...out of price range. (Coulda told you that!!)

Everything I Really Need To Know About Parenting I Learned From My Cat

My darling son, at 17 months, is in the I WANT TO GET MY WAY stage. He says "no" a lot but not always meaning no. A yes no sounds different than a no no.

Occassionally he has decided that the proper method for expressing his displeasure is to push his sippy cup onto its side or to throw down onto the floor whatever he has in his hands. Every now and again he will even plop himself down onto the floor and throw himself backwards. That has resulted in a few bruises when it happened on tile and not on the carpet. Lesson learned.

Now he is taking it one step farther. He will now reach out and try and slap or scratch me. Not fun. I sternly tell him no, to stop and that what he is doing is not nice. When this doesn't work, I make sure to stand up and make it a point to move very far away from him. He is not going to get to play with mommy if he slaps.

I don't know about you, but sometimes being a parent means you are tired. You have repeated the same song, the same book and the same game more times than you can count. All you want is a little quiet and then your child decides to act out.

So one evening I am sitting on the floor playing with Ian when he decides he doesn't like something I did or said and decides to slap at me. I tell him no. Then he proceeds to try and bite me, with his whole 4 teeth. Not thinking, I reached out and popped him on the head while saying "no". Just like a mother cat would do to her kitten. Just like I have done to teach my cats not to bite.

I think I was just as surprised as he was. We both just looked at each other and blinked a few times. At least it worked.

So the next time you aren't sure what to do with your child, remember the things you have learned from your pets.

The Things My Child Eats

I am blessed with a child that likes to eat. Other than a bread and butter pickle, I don't think he has rejected anything we have ever fed him. Avocados, beans, bread, mangos, green beans, fish, meat....he likes it all.

Last night as I was preparing dinner, I had opened a can of sliced black olives to add to the meal. He looks over interestingly as I drained the juice from the can and made his "mmmm" noise to let me know he wanted some. I shrugged and then popped one in his mouth.

He continued to demand more. I think he could have eaten the whole can if I let him!

Eventually I did add the olives to what I was cooking and we both then ate quinoa with green peas and black olives for dinner.