Asleep In Arms

Dear Ian,

Today I watched you fall asleep in your grandmother's arms. You had refused to take a nap at school today. When you do that you try to stay as busy as possible to stay awake. You had a large banana and 3 mandarin oranges for dinner!

It's a tradition that we go over to grandma's house every Friday after I pick you up from school. Often your Aunt Rebecca joins us and we all have dinner and catch up on the week. We went outside so grandma and aunt Becca could smoke and so you could have some fresh air as you really like to be outside.

You became fussy and clumsy, sure signs you are getting sleepy. I bounced you on my knees for some time and then grandma took over. I watched your eyes slowly close. I watched your little red cheeks soften and flush, not only with heat, but with the softness of baby sleep.

I looked at my mother holding you and realized the fragility of life, of family relations. My mother, your grandma, is 70 years old. It is possible that she will not see you graduate high school. It is possible that you may not remember much of her. That makes me sad to think. I hope that she will be around, and cognizant, to see you grow into a young man.

Because you may not remember, and because I want to remember, I took a few pictures. I only had my cell phone with me and your grandma hates to have her picture taken so these aren't the best pictures, but at least I have them. I know that I can look back at the photo and remember the moment, remember how full my heart was looking at the two of you.